Managing a relationship is never easy. However, a little effort from each party can really let your relationship blossom. Getting gifts is always an headache especially when it come to special occasion. In a way, I am lucky that my birthday falls before HER. Hence I can use what SHE did for my birthday as a benchmark for HERS with all other "occasions" being equal. Thinking back, there have always been plenty of surprises. As much as it is time consuming and certainly threatens to wipe out all our brain cells, the reward at the end is usually satisfying. The reaction you get, the expression he/she gives, will make you feel that everything is all worth it.
When you go on that shopping trip to try and get something for your love one, do you often get the feeling that you should really be your own boss and open a shop that sells the gifts you want cos no ones else does. Other than HER favourite Pooky, most of the time I find myself making those pointless trips round the shopping centres knowing that all shopping centres sell the same stuff and nothing is really going to interest me. Often I will be tempted to just get that stuff toy (chocolates if buying for guy...) to get it over and done with. But as a matter of fact, when selecting presents for others, people tend to choose gifts which they like too. Therefore it is always hard to make one spend that dollar unless you don't mind anything.
Therefore, it has almost become a tradition for me to just do something for HER, if time permits. Here are just some of it and hopefully it can just stimulate some of you to think of gifts you call your own...
1) Pop-up Cards. Good for all occasions. A little message never fails to bring back the memories when you look back at it again. That is a jigsaw by the way. I got it from a 500 pieces jigsaw. Impressive?
2) DIY Flowers. Somehow girls just like flowers. Period. Looks real right?
Rose (left) and lilies (right).
3) Personalised Song Album. Every couple should have some love songs which means a lot to them. We do... Other than that, all I need to do is to put in some creativity and decorate the CD. Nice right?
4) Saga Seeds aka Love Seeds. I spent a couple of weekends to collect them. As to where to find them... erm... its a secret. I don't want HER to know too. Not a lot of these trees left in Singapore. Despite the backaches (due to constant bending), cuts and bruises (due to bushes and branches) and getting all sweaty and dirty, I must say it is quite an achievement when you count the number of seeds you manage to collect. Due to its meaning and the things you can do with it, it is definitely time well spent.
A bottle with love seeds filled to the brim (left). An hourglass (made from watch cover) which contains 99 love seeds. (right).
These are just a couple of the gifts I have made. Others include photo album, diary, seashells accessories, etc. There are just so much things that can be explored. Hmm... maybe I should do everyone a service by receiving orders for customised gifts. SHE is good in them too. If you are looking for a meaningful gift for that special someone, these are really some of the BEST things you can give. Well... if you are interested, we can probably try and work something out. Do drop us an email if you like.
For now, its back to brainstorming. Time's running out for the next gift...
I have friends coming up to me and asking me how to know whether a person likes you or not. Hmm... I was stumped for a moment as I have never really given much thought as to how... Come to think of it, how do I know if SHE is the one...
After thinking for some time, I came to a conclusion that there is no way for one to determine whether he or she likes you unless you want to go to the extreme of "dying" for love (Seriously not recommended). To me, it is more of an indescribable feeling that comes to you naturally and just wouldn't go away. (Note that the emphasis is on the "wouldn't go away" part... if it goes away too easily, that's probably just a moment of infatuation.) You will feel a kind of strong attraction that you cannot avoid or prevent. Somehow, yes... somehow, you will know, thats LOVE.So now that you know you really like that person, how do you know if she has the same affection to you?
Try taking the daisy test or alternatively, here are some techniques which I have sort of acquire and hopefully it helps:
1) Play the disappearing act. Now that you and your potential partner has been meeting up each other for "dates", talking on the phone for hours and exceeding those free smses for your handphone plan, one good way to know if you really matter to her is to vanish. Stop even your phone calls and smses. After which, all you need to do now is to wait and see if she contacts you. Let her feel your absence and see if it is bothering her. Try to get hints form the smses or the phone calls to assess how much you think she likes you. You are definitely on the road to success from then on...
Worst Case Scenario: She disappeared along with you. 2 possibilities here. either your girl really don't bother about you, or she is playing hard to get. Then you better try hard, to get.
2) Let her take the initiative. As gentlemanly as you are, one good way of testing the girl is to let her take the initiative to ask you out, or even small gestures like calling you or a "good night" message can mean lots. See how much the girl rely on your company. Of cos, the more she takes the initiative, the better for you.
Worst Case Scenario: The girl is equally unsure about your feelings to her and decides to wait for you to respond or she is just too shy and could not get your hint. In that case, please continue to be the gentleman that you are.
3) Try means to probe information as to whether or not she likes you. Talk about the kind of girl you like and ask for the type of guy he likes and stuff like that. Jokingly ask if she might even consider you if you are placed along side Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise (Ok... take it as they are not married and still as charming.) You might be surprise by her responses and hopefully you can grasp some information or come to a conclusion that, yes, she likes you.
Worst Case Scenario: The girl says she treats you like a brother. GAME OVER Dude! The only way to continue the game is to continue showering her with care and concern to touch her and hopefully she might just change her mind.
4) Plant spy to dig info from her. Nothing better than getting her girlfriends or your buddy to help you ask straight in the face whether or not she is interested in you. That is provided you can bribe either one of them to do it.
Worst Case Scenario: You end up falling in love with the girl who has been helping you or vice versa. Somehow I just feel that its not right...
Well... these are the few that I can think of at the moment. Feel free to contribute...
Realised that someone has been publishing a series of funny cartoon which has a stark resemblance to my own relationship. Not just the story line but even the characters are almost a direct reflection of our personalities. Even SHE couldn't help agreeing after watching some episodes.
Here's the trailer to the cartoon series:
I seriously couldn't help relating the female lead to HER. And the guy... oh my... so poor thing... :P
Here is what I have to say about singlehood or couplehood...
Couplehood
For me... SERIOUSLY... nothing beats getting attached. For those who knows me, this may sound absurd to them. But trust me, I can't do without a partner in my life.
So what is so good about getting attached to someone? You might ask me. Doesn't he or she bog you down? Doesn't he or she restricts you? Doesn't he or she makes you feel like you rather be single? The answer I would give you is YES YESYES for all 3 of the questions. Now you must be wondering why is this guy contradicting himself? But the fact is, yes... a relationship will make you feel really bad sometimes but at the end of it all, it really gives you so much more. And of cos... for someone like me who relishes a challenge everyday, being attached is an added bonus!
Ok... so what exactly do I get out of a relationship? Here are some of the main ones based on my own experience:
1) After a long, stressful and dreary day, where nothing goes right for you. What better way but to have someone there who cares and willing to sit down and hear you nag your way and complain about how bad your day is...
SHE is the one.
2) Your deadline for your work is coming and you have really no one else to depend on who is willing to assist you or at the bare minimum give you some moral support without asking for anything in return, except your company What better way but to have someone there who encourages you no matter how bad the situation is...
SHE is the one.
3) You are feeling down and really just need someone to console you and be there for you. What better way but to have someone who you can hug and never let go...
SHE is the one.
4) You are so happy and really wants someone who can share your joy with and you can be sure that he or she is genuinely happy for you. What better way but to have someone who is influenced by your emotions and is always there to share it with you be it good or bad...
SHE is the one.
Singlehood
So now if you ask me what is so bad about singlehood then? Well... you are missing out on all these.
Then what is good about singlehood? Well... you still have a chance to go out there and look for that special someone. Don't hesitate...
Love Worksheet courtesy from http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/4106 (click on the picture to d/l the pdf version of the love worksheet)
Chanced upon this interesting article that illustrates in light humour the tactics geniuses employ in LOVE in the form of a quiz. Have fun reading while discovering more about the romantic side of these famous people.
Before you decided to walk down the aisle with your partner. Have you wondered how much it would actually cost to just get married in Singapore?
As of any other day, I was shot the question of when (what age) I wanted to get married. And as of any other day, I was trying hard to think of an answer to push the date as late as possible to deter HER from asking me this question every now and then.
HIM: "30 years old lor..." HER: " Huh! Why so late? 26 to 28 cannot meh?" HIM: "Cannot lar! Where got money?"
Well... well... MONEY! My argument was not without credibility after all. SHE, unconvinced by what I have said, got us to do a quick calculation and I was surprised by the final figure.
According to our rough estimation,
Assuming 40 tables, each costing $1000, that's already amounts to $40K. Woah!
And as HER friend suggested, $10K for a nice honeymoon for 2. Still not too bad.
Miscellaneous costs including photo shoot, clothings, blah blah blah... another $10K should be a safe estimate.
That sums up to $60K already and not including possible housing down payment, renovation cost etc, etc. We realized that it is seriously not cheap! Not forgetting I am still a student, haven't earn a single cent or secure a job yet and still need to pay back my tuition fee loan.
HIM: "So now you know..." HER: "Ai yerrrr...... No need to get married liao lor.
To summarize..... here are my top 5 reason to be in singlehood or couplehood...
Singlehood 1) Carefree There's no need to "report strength" every now and then. Your handphone serves as a communication device instead of a tracking device
2) Variety of choices No need to feel guilty stricken for flirting around and going out solo with the opposite sex. You will be surprise at the number of eligible bachelors still going single and hot for grabs
3) Friendship A point of time where you have a great relationships with your girlfriends, hanging out every weekends and enjoying the all girls party. It makes you think why would you need a guy when you have a bunch of wonderful girlfriends...
4) Savings Gosh you will be surprise at the money you will save from buying gifts for special occasions like birthdays/anniversary/xmas/vday etc... Instead these money will go wisely to self indulgence during the weekends shopping spreeeeeeee
5) 100% concentration A life without distractions, perfect to push your studies/career to a new height. Time is made more efficient.
Couplehood 1) Companionship This goes without saying, someone who will be there for you for good and for bad.
2) Stability Though your boyfriend may give you a handful of problems (mine does..) Well, at least there's no need to worry about other BGR matters and you can concentrate on your job
3) Sense of responsibility & commitment Being attached makes the person more goal oriented in order to provide a better life for the other.
4) Completeness Life is a jigsaw puzzle waiting to be completed. We embarked in the search of the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle to piece it up. The destination ends with the formation of a beautiful picture and life cannot be more complete.
5) Happiness Happier than ever. Despite the squabbles and bickering. Life is totally... blissful...
"The special one need not be the perfect, but one whom flaws you can accept all..."
This quote was inspired by the discussion with my lunch kakis (Kakis - A group of close friends) yesterday afternoon and I personally quite agree with this statement.
We often hear people listing down a long list of what they expect from their the other half, the criteria they need to fulfill - good looking, clever, caring... etc. However, how many times have we experienced situations that though the person may have seemed to fulfill all the criteria yet unable to accept the person wholeheartedly. They may seem all you have ever wanted but its just isn't so.
We may have forgotten that there's no perfect one in this world. So at the end of the day, it still goes down to whether you can accept him/her for who he/she is and over sighting his/her flaws. You know that he/she is the one for you when, he/she just seemed perfect despite your friends reminders of the flaws he/she possess.
I was at HER house the other day and we were happily chatting on what to write and post on our blog other than the squabbles and the "Gotcha" photos which we have and are tempted to publize. Somehow this conversation came out of the blue:
HIM: "Oei... YOUR stuff still at my house, so how?
HER: "Stupid you lar... come my house and forget to bring!"
HIM: "I know liao... 等一下你驾去我家。(YOU can drive to my house later). Then YOU can take the stuff and drive home.
HER: "REALLY! 你要我嫁(驾)去你家？(You want me to marry to your house?)
[FYI: In chinese, 驾(drive) sounds exactly like 嫁(marry) in chinese.]
HIM (clearing noticing HER eyes gleaming and sensing trouble) : "Er... Let's call it off."
HER (clearly disgusted): "STUPID YOU!!! Purposely lor!"
Now... who is the one who did it purposely? Lucky I react fast enough. (PHEW!)
It seems like one of the most "hated" or rather common way to hint or propose a marriage is to apply for houses. With the HDB prices soaring to new heights, young couples are finding themselves getting desperate to apply for a flat, keeping in mind the $8000 salary cap, which can seem so little, especially with both parties working after arming themselves with an university degree.
For guys who think that this is a marriage proposal, I am sorry. Applying for flats with you probably only mean that they will not have to live with your parents after marriage and it certainly only correspond to an added assurance for your lady with regards to the direction where the relationship is heading.
So if you are thinking she has already accepted you, maybe... but she is still hoping for that fairy tale ending.
"In your dreams..." you might tell her. What I can assure you is that...
To all guys out there. If you are hoping for a simple marriage proposal, you better think twice. Our ladies are really looking for something special, memorable and truly unforgettable. Although they don't really say it, this has been confirmed by many other than HER, (Depending on individual, it is likely that they will still accept any mundane proposal, but this is one of the things that you are probably going to do once only in your entire life. Surely you should give some thoughts and put some effort into it right?)
Ok... probably you are thinking now what gives me the right to be saying all these when I myself have not done it yet. Well... really just an afterthought and I am sure most of you will agree with me at least to a certain extent.
Well... I have decided to embark on a journey to get some responses on the DREAM marriage proposal and of cos, the not so desired ones. Will be updating soon with some of the findings.
A friend of mine wrote this article which I thought I should share with everyone. This really got me thinking the first time I read it. For people out there who are thinking of whether you have met the right person, hope that it helps.
CHOICE AND CHANCE
When we meet the right person to love when we are at the right place, at the right time, that's not a choice. That's CHANCE. When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice. That's CHANCE. Being caught up in a moment, this is not a choice. That's CHANCE.
The difference is, what happens afterwards?
When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level? That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and then contemplate whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.
If you decide to love the person, even with his faults, that's not chance. That's CHOICE. When you choose to be with a person no matter what, that's not chance. That's CHOICE. Even if you know that there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than him or her, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same, that's not chance. That's CHOICE.
Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by CHANCE. But true love that last is truly a CHOICE. A choice that we make...
"Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen."
I believe that soulmates do exist, that there is truly someone made for you. But eventually, it is still up to you to make the choice. We may meet our soulmates by CHANCE, but loving and staying with our soulmate is still a CHOICE we have to make.
"You can only see the true colors of a human if you taste its heart."
Hopefully this short passage brought some insights to you out there who are still waiting for that chance to come by or thinking of whether to make that choice.
The feeling of insecurity is inevitable, especially in the long run, when one has to undergo weeks or even months without seeing each other. A true test of trust and commitment between both sides - to be able to trust him wholeheartedly without seeing him by your side and to be able to commit to this relationship even though its world's apart and vice versa.
Special effort has to be made to catch up and to relay your love to each other so far away. Though I may agree that the advanced technology has made communication possible no matter in any part of the world. But I believe even strongly that nothing beats having him physically by your side. The presence and touch that does wonder.
The decision to go for the long distance trip is not an easy one. It marks the strong belief one has in the relationship to be able to put the relationship to this test - to strengthen or to break. The decision to let your love one go abroad is even more difficult and takes a lot more courage - to support her decision by letting her leave your side...
"No hurdles can make us fall when you are with me..."
Inspired by an interesting article "Sorry, what did you just say?" on weekend TODAY(1-2 Mar 08 pg4). The article talks about the lack of communication in the young ones in Singapore nowadays, not even with the help technology such internet and mobile communication - they blog instead of talk.
Even young couples in courtship, bathing in the bliss of love seems to be following this "trend" as well. WHAT HAPPENED?! Gone were the days where couples look eye into eye romancing each other. What the article observed instead were young couples behaving like old couples, sitting down together yet doing things of their own and nothing were said between them. (Hmmm, speaking of which I'm here blogging and HE is totally engrossed in watching TV and reading his newspaper in the living room). Did guys out there simply lost their skill of sweet talking and gals out there grown out of their need/want to hear honeyed words?
I would think that it might be due to the culture here that has evolved the people to be less personalized. They face the computers more than they face human. They have learnt that emailing your colleagues is the best way to work instead of verbal communication (CC & BCC make sure that everything is in black and white). They have also learnt to talk only when necessary to prevent saying the wrong things and bringing in more troubles.
But maybe just like what HE ALWAYS SAY, love REALLY NEEDS NO WORDS...
Managing a relationship is never easy. However, a little effort from each party can really let your relationship blossom. Getting gifts is always an headache especially when it come to special occasion. In a way, I am lucky that my birthday falls before HER. Hence I can use what SHE did for my birthday as a benchmark for HERS with all other "occasions" being equal. Thinking back, there have always been plenty of surprises. As much as it is time consuming and certainly threatens to wipe out all our brain cells, the reward at the end is usually satisfying. The reaction you get, the expression he/she gives, will make you feel that everything is all worth it. 
"We are just two ordinary souls ...who found each other..."
Realised that someone has been publishing a series of funny cartoon which has a stark resemblance to my own relationship. Not just the story line but even the characters are almost a direct reflection of our personalities. Even SHE couldn't help agreeing after watching some episodes.
A simple diagram that summarises everything i want to say
Another quote inspired by my colleague on a rainy Wednesday afternoon:
Chanced upon this interesting article that illustrates in light humour the tactics geniuses employ in LOVE in the form of a quiz. Have fun reading while discovering more about the romantic side of these famous people.
To summarize..... here are my top 5 reason to be in singlehood or couplehood...
"The special one need not be the perfect, but one whom flaws you can accept all..."
It seems like one of the most "hated" or rather common way to hint or propose a marriage is to apply for houses. With the HDB prices soaring to new heights, young couples are finding themselves getting desperate to apply for a flat, keeping in mind the $8000 salary cap, which can seem so little, especially with both parties working after arming themselves with an university degree.
To all guys out there. If you are hoping for a simple marriage proposal, you better think twice. Our ladies are really looking for something special, memorable and truly unforgettable. Although they don't really say it, this has been confirmed by many other than HER, (Depending on individual, it is likely that they will still accept any mundane proposal, but this is one of the things that you are probably going to do once only in your entire life. Surely you should give some thoughts and put some effort into it right?) 
Scenario: You owe HIM money. You are reluctant to return. What should you do?
SHE says: "I am sexy right?" (After seeing a fat girl walk past)
A friend of mine wrote this article which I thought I should share with everyone. This really got me thinking the first time I read it. For people out there who are thinking of whether you have met the right person, hope that it helps.
Inspired by an interesting article "Sorry, what did you just say?" on weekend TODAY (1-2 Mar 08 pg4). The article talks about the lack of communication in the young ones in Singapore nowadays, not even with the help technology such internet and mobile communication - they blog instead of talk.
